Feminine Archetype for Month Three: The Wild Woman

Before we leave the wild woman behind and move on to month four of our journey, let’s take time to reflect on her many dimensions so we can carry her spirit with us as we move toward our rebirth.

Just as the solar plexus chakra represents the seat of our power, so too does the wild woman remind us that we are empowered beings who have incarnated on this planet to engage in a co-creative experience with the divine. She reminds us that creativity is not bound by conventions but thrives in the uncharted territories of our imagination. When we embody the wild woman’s passionate nature, we find ourselves living life to the fullest, wholeheartedly engaging with the world around us.

In this technologically connected world, she reminds us to seek truth within through our impulses, intuition and instincts – all the superpowers of the divine feminine. Through her, we learn to trust our instincts, cultivating a profound bond with the natural world and tapping into the wisdom it offers. Our intuition becomes a guiding compass, leading us to make decisions aligned with our true desires and purpose. As we embrace this archetype, we unlock the courage to face challenges head-on and embrace the wild unknown, discovering strength in vulnerability and resilience in adversity.

She invites us to be fully ourselves, without fear of being “too much” by letting our emotions flow freely in all their many dimensions: joy, happiness, grief, sadness, turn on and wild abandon. The wild woman inspires spontaneity and curiosity and the world is her oyster. She is bold and comfortable in her own skin. Her body is her sanctuary, and she honors it for all it can do – birth babies, dance, run free, and so much more.

She also honors the cycles of life, whether they are reflected in the seasons or in her body. She allows her rhythms to wax and wane like the moon, rejecting the hustle culture that is the cult of the modern age. Above all, she knows that she cannot be contained by societal expectations. She is unabashedly passionate, confident and fully herself.

Perhaps you have kept your wild woman caged for most of your life, faithfully fulfilling the roles and responsibilities you have been taught from birth. You do not have to abandon the life you’ve created in order to embrace her, but rather choose to enrich it by bringing in the breadth of experience that the wild woman can offer. She represents the liberated spirit within every woman, defying restrictions and breaking free from the shackles of conformity and societal expectations.

Be aware of the wild woman’s shadow side, however. As with every feminine archetype that we are exploring in our journey, she can be destructive. She might use her power to do it all herself and try to control everything and everyone. She may be so independent that she refuses help even when it’s in her highest good.

At the other extreme, she may be impulsive, foolhardy and reckless, inspiring fear by her behavior.  While breaking free from societal norms is empowering, disregarding responsibility and accountability can lead to destructive behaviors and severed relationships.

She also may be prone to addiction, irrational anger, spiteful vengeance and other destructive forces. Intimacy can be a challenge as well when we are in our wild woman shadow.

Remember though that shadows disappear when exposed to the light so there’s no need to be afraid. Engaging in practices that ground and center us, such as spending time in nature, can help us maintain balance amidst the wild energies this archetype can evoke. She is a part of us that can be trusted and embraced.

Shadow: Fiercely independent, controlling, vengeful, reckless, impulsive, foolhardy.

Light: Intuitive, free, passionate, confident, uninhibited, creative and at one with nature.

Manifestation Tool: Seasonal Rituals

Each January 1, most of the world celebrates the dawn of a new calendar year and a fresh new beginning. We are encouraged to set resolutions and then do our best to achieve them with an iron will. It begins with a countdown to midnight on December 31, and then we are told we must be ready and set to go the very next day.

But for those of us in the northern hemisphere, it is a rather odd time to declare the start of something new. After all, it is the middle of winter when all is cold and dark. It is a time when many farmers choose to leave the fields fallow so they will be more fertile come spring. And if you’ve ever set New Year’s resolutions, you know from experience that they often are quickly abandoned – sometimes before the month is out – despite our very best efforts.

That’s why on the divine feminine path, we choose to do things differently. When we embody the wild woman archetype, we choose to begin again at the spring equinox instead because it represents the cusp of the season of resurrection and growth. Celebrated on March 20 or 21 and marking the beginning of the astrological year, the equinox is when Mother Nature gets her fresh start, therefore so do we.

Instead of making resolutions that we plan to achieve through our own efforts, we set intentions in connection with the divine, and then we co-create in flow with the universe. We also don’t limit ourselves to only one annual ritual. Instead we have four seasonal ceremonies in addition to a new moon ritual each month. In the blog posts to come, we also will delve into the practice of setting weekly and daily intentions.

For seasonal rituals, our time horizon is three months, which means that in March, we set intentions for April, May and most of June. Our second seasonal intention-setting opportunity is the summer solstice on June 21 when we set intentions through the month of September. By the time the fall equinox rolls around on September 22 or 23, it’s time to celebrate our harvest from spring and summer while planting even more seeds of manifestation.

At the winter solstice in December, when the rest of the world is gearing up for New Year’s resolutions, we can consciously choose to pause our manifestation practices and focus instead on leaving our fields fallow. Rather than engaging in deliberate creation, we can write gratitudes for the calendar year. It’s also a perfect time to create a burn list with everything that we choose not to take into the year ahead.

Since each season has its own unique flavor, the rituals themselves vary. Yet because nature has her predictable patterns, there are repeating themes to our ceremonies as well. For example, at each equinox in the spring and the fall, we celebrate balance as the days and nights reach equal lengths. The solstices, on the other hand, always occur on either the longest or shortest day of the year and we mark the occasion accordingly. Here are a few ideas on how you can begin acknowledging the turning of the wheel of life in ways that reflect and honor nature’s sacred cycles and your own.

Spring Equinox

In many parts of the northern hemisphere, nature is just getting ready to bloom again on March 21. The first buds have started appearing on trees and green blades of grass are sprouting among the dry vestiges of winter lawns. For this and so many other reasons, the spring equinox is one of my favorite intention-setting moments of the year. Beginning the new year in March instead of January aligns us with the earth’s rhythms and allows us to witness the birth of our manifestations right along with nature’s bounty.

As with all the rituals outlined in this blog, we begin by creating a sacred space — outdoors if at all possible. We then select special objects to create an altar that connect us with the divine. We begin by choosing objects that reflect the four elements: a candle for fire, sage for air, minerals or soil for earth, and water that you can make holy by blessing it yourself. Once the scene is set, we add seasonal elements.

For spring, we can pick wildflowers and choose vibrantly colored crystals for our altar. I also choose to write my spring equinox intentions on seed paper that I then plant under my backyard angel tree. It happens to be magnolia tree that we planted in honor of our son Patrick, and as if on cue, it produces gorgeous white blooms around Mother’s Day and on May 15, his birthday. Scattering actual seed packets in spring is also a beautiful practice because we can later witness the blooming of flowers (or whatever we have chosen to plant) right along with our desires.

Summer Solstice

For the summer solstice, which marks the longest day of the year, we can create mandalas using flowers, shells, leaves and other earthly treasures that represent the season. Mandalas are geometric and colorful configurations of sacred symbols that we can use to meditate on our desires. It’s also fun to create flower crowns with ribbons that stream from our crown chakra when we wear them. We can use any leftover ribbons to write intentions and then tie them to our designated “angel tree.” Golden ribbons are especially beautiful for this purpose and will glitter in the sunlight until we are ready to untie them as part of a gratitude ritual.

Fall Equinox

In fall, cornucopias are apropos for the equinox with fruits, nuts, pumpkins, squash and autumn leaves creating a beautiful centerpiece for a ritual altar. It’s a time to celebrate what we have created in spring and summer and acknowledge the abundance of the universe. At the same time, we know there is more to come before winter appears.

Winter Solstice

When the wheel of the year spins to its final winter season, we gather evergreen branches, cranberries, mistletoe, holly and other decorative objects traditionally associated with Christmas to mark the year’s shortest day in the northern hemisphere. These familiar markers of the season were actually adopted by Christians from ancient goddess practices that date back many thousands of years, and we now reclaim them for the purposes they were intended.

Our ancestors marked the darkest day of the year by burning yule logs as a symbol of brighter days ahead. We still use the phrase yuletide blessings to harken back to those earlier times. Whether we opt to light a fire or just a few candles, winter solstice rituals are yet another reminder that all new life is created out of the darkness.

By doing seasonal rituals and combining them with new moon intention setting each month, we have at least 16 different opportunities each year to co-create with the universe in a sacred and meaningful way. And each one will bring its own unique bounty.

Which season is your favorite and what do you do to mark its arrival? Share your ideas in the comment section below.

Manifestation Tool: New Moon Ritual

When my kids were little, I came across a sweet little book called The Birthday Moon by Lois Duncan. It is the story of all the wonderful things you could do if you received the moon as a gift. “On your very next birthday, I’ll give you a moon, on the end of a string like a golden balloon.” As the moon changes shape, so do the possibilities.  “I will give you a half-moon with spiderweb strings you can pluck like a harp when the nightingale sings,” Duncan writes. “Then your friends will all beg you to play them some tunes, for there’s simply no music as sweet as the moon’s.” And so it goes.

Year after year, I would sit outside on the night of each son’s birthday and gaze up with them at the sky as we read the book together. On the very last page, Duncan asks: “Was there ever a present as fine as a moon?”  When I discovered the divine feminine path that is the subject of this blog, I came to realize that indeed the moon is the very best gift imaginable for so many reasons.

If you’re like me, you probably did not grow up with an awareness of the moon cycles. Sure, you may have noticed when the moon was full or especially bright in the sky. But you most likely did not plan your life in conscious awareness of its phases. Yet for women, this can actually be one of the most powerful practices to integrate into our lives.

To understand just how deep our connection to the moon is, consider how our body’s cycles mirror those of the moon. Each new moon marks the beginning of a 29.5-day cycle that replicates our own cycles of ovulation, fertilization (or not), and the release that occurs in menstruation. In this way, each new moon represents a fresh start.

There is another way that our feminine essence mirrors the moon. In contrast to the sun, which is fundamentally constant in its shape, intensity and cycles, the moon is ever changing. It appears to change shape every day and moves quickly across the sky. Sometimes she rises at night; other times during the day. And yet her cycles repeat month in and month out.

So too goes feminine energy. We have regular cycles, but our emotions tend to wax and wane. Like the moon, we cover the full spectrum, from darkness to light. The feminine is also exceptionally good at multitasking seamlessly, moving from one thing to another just as the moon zips across the sky.

To understand why we set intentions at the new moon, it helps to understand the intricate geometry of the planets. When the moon is new, we are seeing her dark side. That is because she is positioned precisely between the earth and the sun, and the part of her that faces us is not illuminated. At that point, she is so close to the sun that she comes up at sunrise and sets just after sunset. Since the night sky looks empty at the new moon, we have a wide-open canvas for creation.

This coming together of the sun and moon also symbolizes a joining of masculine and feminine energies, providing another powerful sign of the creative potential of the new moon. Just as a man and woman can make a baby when they join together, so too can we use the moon’s perfect alignment with the sun to co-create our desires. It’s also a great time to launch a new project or to get a fresh start in any area of your life.

As the moon continues its orbit around the earth, we begin to see her illumination by the sun increase, and she grows bigger in our eyes or waxes. We can use that time to visualize our desires being fulfilled. The moon then reaches her peak brightness two weeks later when she is opposite sun as viewed from earth, fully illuminating her in our eyes. With her brightness lighting up the sky, we can metaphorically see more clearly and know what we need to release from our lives. The full moon then begins to wane as she continues her movement around the earth, eventually reaching her dark phase when she once again conjuncts the sun.

Of course, new moon rituals are not just practiced by women. Many ancient cultures incorporated the moon into their rituals, believing that the moon affected everything from their crops to their animals to human life itself. We know the moon is powerful enough to influence the rise and fall of the tides, but traditionally it has also been thought to have a magnetic effect on all living things.

Since discovering this metaphysical creative energy many years ago, I have been setting new moon intentions each month. If you’re a follower of the law of attraction, you know we are always creating our own reality, whether consciously or unconsciously. Moon rituals allow us to do it intentionally.

But even if someone does not believe in law of attraction’s principles, setting intentions can bring tangible benefits. It allows us to reflect on our desires and note how our benevolent universe fulfills them in perfect timing. In fact, I recommend writing your intentions using red ink so that once they manifest you can remember that they were once unfulfilled desires.

For my monthly ritual, I write 10 new moon intentions as if they were already done. So I begin by writing the words “thank you, thank you, thank you for” and then write out my desires for career, love, family, money and more. It looks a lot like a gratitude list ,and in fact, that is why it is important to write your intentions with red ink. When you look back at the list, you may not realize that at one time it was just wishful thinking.

As you consider your own desires for the new moon cycle, remember that it takes about 29.5 days for her to journey around our earth, so this ritual is best for shorter-term intentions. The word moon and month both have the same etymological history, and that is about the right time span for new moon rituals. You can use seasonal rituals to set longer-term intentions (more on that in the next blog).

Despite the short-term nature of your new moon desires, you’ll sometimes find that they can take longer than a month to come to fruition. As you will discover again and again, it’s important not to take score too soon. Instead allow the universe to arrange all the cooperative components for you. Usually in retrospect, you can understand why it took longer than you expected for a particular desire to come to you.

There are also some instances where you will not receive the desire of your heart because it’s not in your highest good or the good of the others in your sphere of influence. That’s why it’s important to add the following sentence at the end of all your intentions, whether they are for the day, the month or the season: “This or something even better beyond my wildest dreams.”

That statement is like an insurance policy and lottery ticket rolled into one. If what you are asking for is not in your highest good, you and those you love are protected. In contrast, if you’re playing small, you allow the universe to wow you.

Audrey, one of the goddesses in my Sacred Circle, learned this first-hand when she set intentions each month for the relationship she very much desired with the successful lawyer she was dating at the time. In fact, her longing was so strong that they eventually got engaged.

The problem was that he was a narcissist and everyone around her could see it, even if she could not. More importantly, the universe could see it. He was manipulative, selfish, and self-centered. But at first, she was too blinded by love to notice. Eventually things got so bad that she broke it off with him, and that’s when the universe came rushing in with the “something even better.”

Less than two months after breaking off the engagement, she met a man who just was the opposite of the attorney – kind, generous and completely in love with her. Today they are happily married, and their magical love story could fill an entire book. We can see examples time and time again in our lives where we desire something that we later realize was not good for us. Rejection is protection and ultimately redirection.

So, take time to write your new moon desires each month as if your wishes were already fulfilled. But add the magical phrase at the end that will allow the universe to wow you with outcomes that are beyond all you could ask or imagine.

What intentions are you setting at this month’s new moon? Share them in the comments below so we can co-create them together.

Release Technique: Burning

Since swamping is a release technique that I generally recommend doing only in sisterhood, I want to offer you another ritual that you can safely do on your own. It involves the element of fire and is intimately connected with this month’s manifestation practices: moon and seasonal rituals. And as you’ll see, you do not have to wait for a full moon or a new season to burn. You can do this practice weekly or even daily if necessary. So, let’s dive into the details.

Have you ever heard that nothing can ever be created nor destroyed, only transformed to something else? This is known as the first law of thermodynamics and it was initially set forth by the Frenchman Sadi Carnot in his 1824 book, Reflections on the Motive Power of Fire. As this principle evolved, it came to be understood that the total amount of energy in the universe is always the same; only the form that it takes changes.

For our purposes, let’s leave aside the science and explore this concept metaphysically instead. Consider that all of us are always building up some amount of negative energy in our lives. It’s inevitable, whether from large or small irritations or setbacks. Left unresolved, that energy would be toxic and lead to the type of dis-ease that we explored in the previous post. Imagine transmuting that negative energy into positive energy and put yourself in a receiving mode instead. That’s what happens when you burn.

Consider, too, how mother nature uses fire to clear out forests, making room for new growth. Forest fires often occur naturally to restore ecological balance, but prescribed burns are also used to avoid the risk of large, uncontrollable blazes. Dead wood is replaced by ashes, and as the ancient texts teach, we can then receive beauty for our ashes. So, as you adopt the alchemical process of burning in your life, you will see that what you release is transmuted into new growth that is much more beautiful than what you burned away.

I adopted a burning practice years ago when I began writing lists of what I wanted to transmute and setting them ablaze in my backyard chiminea, weather permitting. When I was away from home, which I often am in the summer, I would get out a kitchen pot and burn on a window sill or balcony if I happened to have one. More than once, I had the goddessly problem of setting off a fire alarm in my vacation home, although thankfully it was only due to a little excess smoke and not because I was actually burning down the house. Eventually I graduated to a small cast iron cauldron that I could use to burn, rain or shine, and I highly recommend adding one to your own rebirth tool kit.

The timing of your burns is up to you and dependent on how much negative energy you are dealing with at any point in time. But just as I’ll be encouraging you to set intentions each new moon (more on that in the next blog) it’s important to make burning part of every full moon. Why the full moon? Because it represents the peak energy of the lunar cycle, after which the moon begins to wane. As you burn under each full moon, you can imagine your negative energy waning right along with it, being replaced by positive energy that allows you to get a fresh start under the next new moon two weeks later.

What should you put on your burn list? You can begin by writing out the names of people in your life who no longer serve you. While it may feel harsh to release someone you know and perhaps even love, remember that energy cannot be created or destroyed, only transmuted. If they are meant to be in your life, you can release them energetically, knowing the universe will bring them back to you in a different and better form.

You can also burn blocks and obstacles that you have identified or feelings that bring you down. It’s always a good idea to burn anger, frustration, anxiety, and fear, trusting that they will be transmuted to pleasure, joy, happiness, and confidence. You also might want to consider adding a catch-all phrase at the end of your burn list such as: I release all that stands in the way of my highest good, known and unknown, conscious and unconscious.

As I burn, I am always mindful to be thankful for the lessons learned from whatever I am transmuting. As Abraham-Hicks points out, when we know what we don’t want, we know what we do want, just as we need light and dark to identify form. In other words, it’s contrast that allows us to appreciate the good things in our lives, . So, get out a pen and paper and start writing. Then safely transmute it for your highest good and that of those you care about through the element of fire.

Release Technique: Swamping

In an earlier post, we explored embodied wisdom and the many ways our body speaks to us through the symptoms we manifest. Have you ever been exhausted and craving rest, only to find yourself sick and convalescing in bed? Or maybe as you grapple with a difficult issue, you suddenly develop a literal pain in the neck? These are some of the more obvious ways that our bodies speak to us, but the messages can also be far more subtle. Maybe you get a tightness in your solar plexus when you think about a particular person. Or your heart beats faster in certain situations. It’s vital to pay attention to the body’s messages because it usually is providing insights that our thinking brains cannot access.

If we don’t listen to our body, these feelings and physical symptoms can build up over time and manifest as disease, or what author Louise Hay calls dis-ease. She believed every illness has an emotional root, including her own cervical cancer, which she attributed to lingering resentment over childhood abuse. “I believe that we create every so-called illness in our body,” Louise once said. “Our body is always talking to us; we just need to take the time to listen.” 

While Louise Hay suggested sending loving thoughts and words to the ailing body part as a remedy, we will be exploring another way to release stuck emotions in the spirit of the wild woman archetype. In fact, we will be taking our cue from animals. Notice how they shake their bodies to and fro throughout the day? They do this after sensing a threat or when they’re waking up from a long nap. It’s what we might describe as “shaking it off.” I am inviting you to learn to do the same using a process my teacher, Regena Thomashauer, created called “swamping.”

Think of swamping as being like a two-year-old’s temper tantrum. They rage. They cry. They scream. They throw their bodies on the floor and beat their fists and roll around in despair. It’s easy to see how that could help you release stuck energy from your body, and that’s what you will be doing when you swamp. I caution you, though, to proceed with caution. Toddlers are resilient and can pop up from a temper tantrum no worse for the wear. For adults, this kind of raging can result in accidents or injuries if we are not careful.

There’s another big difference between a toddler’s tantrum and a woman’s deeply felt swamp. In the divine feminine path, we are taught to honor every face of the goddess, including the part of her that has deeply felt emotions that must be expressed and transmuted. So, while we often admonish a toddler for their outbursts, we encourage each other in a swamp and celebrate the many facets of our emotional range.

“It actually turns the culture on its head because the culture teaches us to be ashamed of the depth and breadth of the way we feel and the way we love and the way we show up fully for our lives,” Thomashauer explained in a podcast interview. By swamping with other women and celebrating each other as we are in the depth of our despair, “we can turn that experience around and be filled with delight when we feel deeply.”

That’s why it’s important to plan ahead for your swamp. Find a group of like-minded women and a safe space where you can express yourselves without alarming the neighbors. Gather props like pillows, soft baseball bats and whips that you can use to release your pent-up emotions. Consider dressing the part too. Cut holes in a trash bag and wear it. Or don your frumpiest clothes that reflect the way you feel. At one of the retreats that I hosted, we took white t-shirts and used them to write out our sentiments in big black letters. If you’re swamping a relationship, you could print out that person’s picture and use it to better express your rage.

You also will need a playlist. While I am providing some suggestions at the end of this post, you will want create your own playlist, using songs that speak to you. Note that in my lineup, the music starts off slow, allowing you to connect with your body and your emotions. The songs that follow then that take you through a range of feelings – sadness, grief, anger and rage. It’s important not to leave it there though. You’ll see that I have also included tunes that help you move to empowerment and ultimately joy and event turn on. Follow this same format as you choose your own songs.

When I first learned about swamping, I was so afraid of it that I almost left the School of Womanly Arts program in order to avoid it. I told myself there was no way I was going to feel all my grief, disappointment and anger. It was far too painful to acknowledge. But encouraged and guided by supportive women, I was able to overcome my fears and use the technique to release years of unexpressed feelings. You can do the same.

Once you have assembled everything you need for your swamp, set up your sound system and your props. Ideally, your floor will be carpeted or have a soft rug. Once the music starts, begin by slowly swaying your body and deeply feeling into the emotions of grief and sadness. As you move up the emotional scale toward anger, support each other by encouraging expressions of rage. Cheer each other on, honoring the beauty of these dark emotions. Crawl on your hands and knees together, roll around on the floor, prod each other with pillows and push back when someone pushes you. Pound the floor and the walls. Then do whatever it takes to safely get past your sadness and anger and into empowerment.

Note that breath, sound and tears are all part of this release technique because they help move energy through our bodies. Breathe into your feelings and let the tears flow. Scream, moan, growl. As painful as the process might feel in the moment, it’s an effective way to avoid long-term pain through disease.

As you can imagine, swamping is not a one and done practice. Schedule periodic group swamps to deal with emotions that are deeply embedded or simply to release the accumulated frustrations of everyday life. You also can modify this process for everyday use. Instead of raging like a toddler, move your body more gently through a shorter play list, feeling the emotions that need to be released and raising your vibration through movement.

Whether you plan a group swamp with other women, or gently do your own mini-swamp at home, you will find that it is an effective way to clear out what no longer serves you, so that you can make room for what does. And remember that the night is darkest just before the dawn. When you fully express your darkest emotions, it puts you one step closer to the dawn of your desires. Here are a few songs to get your started.

Paralyzed – NF

Internal Bleeding – Kid Cudi

Choke – Hybrid

Counting Bodies Like Sheep to the Rhythm of the War Drums – A Perfect Circle

Fun From Far Away – PhasePhour

What the Fuck – Too $hort

Shitlist – L7

Don’t Hurt Yourself – Beyonce, Jack White

6 Inch – Beyonce

Formation – Beyonce

Tubthumping – Chumbawamba

Living Darfur – Mattafix

What songs help you feel your grief, rage and empowerment? Share them in the comments below.

Solar Plexus Chakra: Seat of the Wild Woman

As we explore the wild woman within, we will continue to use the chakra system to guide our path. This month we are moving on to the solar plexus, which is traditionally associated with our power source. It is fiery and contains within it the spark that we need to unleash the part of us that has been caged.

The Sanskrit word for this chakra is manipura or lustrous gem, and it is associated with a golden yellow that evokes images of the sun, our ultimate power source. The symbol for this chakra is a 10-petal lotus flower. Inside is an upside-down triangle, which contains within it the Hindu symbol for the flame of freedom and liberation. The birdu or small dot above it is a symbol of the authenticity that emerges when we burn away the part of us not aligned with our truth.

As you navigate through this part of the Rebirth Journey, you might want to wear yellow more often as an outer symbol of the inner work you are doing. Carry or wear a citrine, the vibrant crystal that represents the energy of the sun. Affirmations can be part of your chakra work as well. If you suffer from insecurities, repeat affirmations that remind you of your personal power and self-confidence. If you are over-confident and tend to be controlling, let the heat associated with this chakra melt away some of that rigidity, allowing you to soften and trust life.

Take time each day to connect with the practices that are designed to balance this chakra so that you can fully tap into this power source that lies within. You can begin by focusing on the Sanskrit symbol and its vibrant yellow hue. Then close your eyes and imagine that brilliant color filling your solar plexus and permeating your entire body. As the light spreads, see your confidence and courage growing along with it. You might want to chant the sound RAM while you are doing your visualization.

You could also light a candle and meditate on the fire symbol associated with the solar plexus chakra. Fire is transformational and transmutes whatever it touches, burning away the old to make way for the new. You can symbolically cast your limiting beliefs into this sacred fire, along with your worries and fears. Later, we also will be exploring how you can literally burn away all that does not serve you under each full moon, and perhaps even more often.

Remember though that fire also energizes and fuels us. Reflect on how can you use fire energy to increase your personal power and feel even more alive. As you meditate, consider on all the ways that your personal power has been contained. Have you always looked to others for guidance, fearing to speak your own truth or tap into what you truly desire? Have you even stopped to consider how you could do things differently?

Consider using the element of fire as an empowering force that will allow you to step out of the cage that is our industrialized and digital world. How would it feel to get out in nature more? What would it be like to move your body freely while fully feeling every emotion that courses through it?

In the blog posts that follow, I will be guiding you through practices designed to connect you with your wild woman and her many dimensions. I will metaphorically be handing you the keys to her cage so she can be set free. Are you willing to let her out to play?

Intro to Month Three

Chakra: Solar Plexus located just above your navel

Sanskrit Word: Manipura

Color: Vibrant yellow

Sound: RAM (pronounced R-UH-M)

Gemstone: Citrine

Release Technique: Swamping and Burning Ritual

Creation tool: Moon and Seasonal Rituals

Mantras:  I am powerful. I am divinity unleashed.

Feminine archetype: Wild Woman

“There’s a Wild Woman inside of you and she wants to chortle out loud, run naked through the forest, and dance with the wolves.

 Elena Leman

Our rebirth journey is divinely designed to help us reconnect with our feminine essence and the practices that have long been overshadowed by masculine ways. But it’s important to remember that our feminine essence is multidimensional. It’s not just sugar and spice and everything nice as society has taught us. It also is wild and free and at one with nature. It is full of the emotional highs and lows that life can bring. It is embodied and not always grounded in the logic that resides in our heads.

This month I will be inviting you to embrace your wild woman, the part of you that longs to be uninhibited and unencumbered by societal expectations. She is the part of you that is free to follow her passions, play like a child, and dance like no one is looking. She feels at home among the trees and the birds and the flowers. She is intimately connected with the moon and her ever-changing cycles.

If you have kept this part of yourself in a cage, know that you are not alone. We all have some fears of the havoc our wild woman could wreak if she is allowed to run free. And for so long, women have been taught to stay in their proverbial place, which has historically been in a neat and tidy home. But the wild woman is not to be feared but rather revered as she has much to teach us about how to fully embrace life.

No one captures the spirit of the wild woman better than Clarissa Pinkola Estés, author of the global best-seller: Women Who Run with the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype. As we journey through this month, take time to read this classic book and look for hidden aspects of yourself in the stories she tells. As you get to know the wild woman archetype, you will see that she is a part of you that longs to be acknowledged. As Pinkola Estés 

 explains:

“Wolves and women have much in common. Both share a wild spirit. Women and Wolves are instinctual creatures, able to sense the unseen. They are loyal, protective of their packs and of their pups. They are wild and beautiful. Both have been hunted and captured. Even in captivity, one can see in the eyes of a Woman, or a Wolf, the longing to run free, and the determination that should the opportunity arise, Whoosh, they will be gone…..”

Of course, for most of us, societal bonds are so strong that the opportunity rarely arises to run free. We do what women have been taught to do for millennia. We serve others. We aim to please. We nurture. We sacrifice. None of these are bad in and of themselves, but so often we do these things at our own expense. We get lost in others and caught in a loop that I call sacrifice and servitude.

While the specific societal messages given to women have changed a bit through the generations, much remains the same. Our mothers teach us to do what they did, and so many of us continue the same pattern with our own children.In Glennon Doyle’s bestseller Untamed, she theorizes that it is around the age of 10 that we are taught how to contain ourselves, and most of us s tay in that cage our entire lives.

“Ten is when the world sat me down, told me to be quiet, and pointed toward my cages. These are the feelings you are allowed to express. This is how a woman should act. This is the body you must strive for. These are the things you will believe. These are the people you can love. Those are the people you should fear. This is the kind of life you are supposed to want. Make yourself fit. You’ll be uncomfortable at first, but don’t worry – eventually you’ll forget you’re caged. Soon this will just feel like life.”

Clearly Doyle, Pinkola Estés and the creators of the ancient myths and legends about the wild woman know something that many modern-day women have forgotten or perhaps never been taught – there is a part of us that desires to be unleashed and free. While the wild woman may have become an endangered species in our wired world, she is not yet extinct. She lives inside of you waiting to be released from her cage.

Our practices this month are designed to help you connect with this wild and free part of you. Our release technique is swamping – uninhibited, feral and designed to help you release emotions that can block what you desire from making its way into your life. We also will explore the element of fire to transmute and transcend. Our manifestation rituals are related to the moon, one of the most powerful symbols of our connection with the divine, and the seasons, which allow us to tap into the many dimensions of Mother Nature. You will learn how to set intentions at each new moon and also at the spring equinox, summer solstice, fall equinox and winter solstice. Both the moon and seasonal rituals give our lives a beautiful rhythm that allows us to begin anew throughout the year, not just on January 1.

So get ready to speak to the trees, dance with the flowers, fall in love with the sunsets, meditate with the water and worship under the moon at night. Your wild woman awaits.

Feminine Archetype for Month Two: The Mother

Whether you have ever physically given birth to a human being or not, you embody the mother archetype as creatrix and giver of life. The feminine body is the portal through which all humans emerge, and as such, it is a powerful conduit for anything you wish to create in your experience. The maternal face of the goddess reminds us too that not only can we create life inside of our bodies, but we can feed and nurture that new creation once it has made its way into the world.

This may be the very thing that provoked fear in the ancients and caused them to keep women submissive. She bleeds and does not die? She grows a human being inside of her and then feeds that creation with the milk from her own body? That’s powerful – and scary.

Using the lens of the mother archetype, you can apply those same ideas to anything that you wish to create in your life. You can envision planting the seed in the darkness of your womb, nurturing it through your spiritual practices, and then feeding it once you have birthed it. Spending a few minutes to really take that in should make you feel like anything is possible. If your body was designed to create something as complex as a human being, what else are you capable of creating?

But like all the archetypes we will be exploring in this blog, the mother archetype has her shadow side. She can give to the point of exhaustion, nurture until she is overwhelmed and become the ultimate martyr, trapped in the life that she herself created. If she doesn’t receive the love and appreciation she feels she deserves, she can feel disillusioned and disappointed. In the process, she can lose her own sense of self and self-worth, living for others and no longer having an identity of her own.

Once the time comes to release those she loves into the world, she may no longer feel a sense of purpose in life, something we commonly define as the empty nest syndrome. If we still have a partner when the children leave, we may begin to treat that person like a child and lose connection with the sensual aspects of that relationship. These disempowering feelings can then manifest physically in lack of sexual desire and numbness.

One way we can find balance in our mother archetype is by tapping into our sacred sexuality and embracing our fertile nature. We can also remember to love and care for ourselves just as we love and care for others. These practices can shine a spotlight on the shadow, causing it to vanish and leaving room to fully embody the archetype’s positive aspects. So remember that you do have the capacity to birth new creations into your life and the lives of those you love. You just have to remember your power.

As we will do in each ensuing month, we will wrap up Month Two by reflecting on both the shadow and the light of this archetype so we can be open to every face of the goddess.

Shadow: Self-sacrifice, over giving, feeling trapped, martyrdom.

Light: Conceiving, creating, nurturing, providing an environment where others flourish, and thrive

Pleasure Prayer: Diving Deeper

If it’s been awhile since you’ve connected to your sexual energy and turn on, a pleasure prayer may feel beyond your reach. But there are plenty of ways to warm up to the idea, beginning with simple changes to your daily practices. Since the mind is our most powerful sexual organ, even thinking about these practices can make a difference. If you choose to shore up those thoughts with action, momentum will ensue and you will find yourself changing before your very eyes.

One of the simplest actions you can take to connect with your turn on is going through your panty drawer. Imagine showing off your current selection to your partner or best friend. What does it reveal about you? Take the time to sort through your underwear before you answer that question, tossing out the stretched out, faded, or outright torn ones. Consider replacing them with something more feminine and beautiful. If your budget won’t allow that at the moment, you might be able to achieve the same feeling by simply browsing sites like Natori, Intimissimi and Hanky Panky and letting your imagination go wild. My teacher, Mama Gena, advocates Panty Free Friday, and you could even opt for that instead or adopt it as a daily practice if it works for you.

Now move on to your sleepwear. From looking at department store offerings, I know that women must like comfy PJs, but how sexy do they make you feel? Can you find something in your current wardrobe that makes you feel beautiful, or better yet, can you start sleeping naked? (Bonus points if you have soft silky sheets that make you feel luxurious). If so, I guarantee you that you’re one step closer to accessing your turn on and sex magic.

Now consider how you bathe your body. Do you take a quick shower in the morning, moving on as quickly as you can? Or could you take some time to savor luxurious bath body products that make you feel like a queen? I can hear the protests now. “I have kids, a job, a husband”….fill in the blank. But if you consider how much time we all spend browsing social media or watching TV, I know you’ll agree that you can probably find the time to turn this every day practice into a ritual. Savor the feeling of the water on your skin. Breathe in the aroma of your shampoo or body wash. Take time to really notice the body oil or lotion that you use to caress your body.

If you have a tub, a bath is even better. Light some candles, luxuriate in the aromatherapy and bubbles, and play soft sensual music. My own bathtub sat unused for years until I discovered this new way of living. Now baths are one of my favorite ways of connecting with my turn on.

Even your food can be sensual if you take time to truly savor the flavors and feel the texture. When you can, take time to sit down to a beautiful table, complete with fine china and crystals. Be present, pausing to enjoy each bite. Try sounding out your pleasure with some mmmms and aaaaahs. Sound can be a way of connecting with your vagus nerve and pleasure points in your body.

While these simple practices may feel good, they still might not be enough to get you in the orgasmic energy that will allow you to co-create with the divine through a pleasure prayer. That’s why I also recommend a vibrator. Perhaps you already have one, but I’d be lying if I told you that I had invested in one before I embarked on this feminine path.

I still remember when a dear friend gifted me my first vibrator and I was blown away, wondering if my husband and kids would be able to hear it (they can’t — as long as you practice a little discretion). While my first vibrator was very basic, they come in every shape and size and at many different price points. My personal favorite is still the old-fashioned bullet that I received back in the day, but you can find just about anything you desire, including the powerful Hitachi Magic Wand, which seems apropos given that a pleasure prayer is also known as sex magic.

By now you see where I’m going with this. Start small. Try just one of these practices. Then look for every opportunity throughout your day to connect with your sensuality, from how you sleep to how you bathe to the clothes you put on your body. Trust me when I tell you that, in time, a pleasure prayer will feel like the most natural thing in the world, and the results will astound you.

Manifestation Practice: Pleasure Prayer

As we explore our manifestation tool for this month, I invite you to keep an open mind. If it’s been a while since you’ve felt turned on by the thought of sex, don’t worry. Once you set an intention to tap into your sexual energy, your body will release hormones and other biochemicals that will help get you there. And I think you’ll agree that sexual energy is one of the most potent forces in the universe. Think back to the feeling of being physically attracted to someone you just met. It can feel like a jolt of electricity that makes your heart beat faster and gives you butterflies in your stomach. Maybe just maybe, you even feel a flutter in your yoni.

Scientists have studied this phenomenon of falling in love (or lust), and have found it actually is triggered in part by the biochemistry of your body.  A study on the Biochemistry of Love explores the role oxytocin plays in creating love bonds. Using the example of the love we feel for a newborn infant, the authors write “preliminary evidence suggests that simply the presence of an infant releases oxytocin in adults. The baby virtually ‘forces’ us to love it.”

The same is true of sexual energy. “Sex is the greatest invention of all time,” write the creators of the Science & Society Series on Sex and Science, where the study on the biochemistry of love was featured “Not only has sexual reproduction facilitated the evolution of higher life forms, it has had a profound influence on human history, culture and society.” And I might add, it can have a profound influence on your life as well.

Sexual energy is magnetic. Consider animals and what happens when they go into heat. They release pheromones that attract their mates to them. This is true in all kind of species, even humans. One study found that women who wore perfume laced with pheromones reported a 50 percent increase in sexual attention from men. But you can create these pheromones naturally and use them to attract much more than a sexual partner.

This where the magic comes into play, and there is no scientific explanation for that. Seeing is believing. So let’s start with a simple thought experiment. Close your eyes and think about your yoni. Pause and do that right now. Do you feel anything? Often all it takes to trigger the biochemistry of turn on is paying attention to this part of your body that is too often neglected.

If you’re feeling numb despite focusing your attention on your yoni, try caressing her, paying special attention to your clitoris. What do you feel now? Are you experiencing any flutters? Depending on your level of connection with your turn on, you can continue touching yourself until you either reach the point of orgasm or simply reconnect with the sexual part of you.

The orgasmic feeling that you experience when you touch your yoni is a high vibration energy that resonates with the divine and the magic that creates worlds. When you combine that orgasmic energy with your imagination focused on the object of your desire, magic happens. It’s as simple as that.

Layla Martin has coined this practice sex magic. Meditation guru Emily Fletcher has rechristened it pleasure prayer, the term we are using. The well-known sex educator Emily Morse describes it as the three M’s: Meditate, Masturbate, Manifest. In a recent New York Times article, she explains it this way:

You meditate for a few minutes, you get in the zone, then you masturbate, and at the height of orgasm, when your sexual energy is at a peak level and you’re at a clear state to transmute whatever you believe into the universe — it’s very potent, clear energy at that moment to think about and feel what it is that you want. …if in that moment you can feel what you want, picture it, it has powerful resonance.

Here’s an example of how it works. Margot, who was part of the first Rebirth Journey, decided to do a pleasure prayer by laying out under the full moon one night. While caressing her yoni, she imagined how she wanted the next day to unfold. She was planning to see a man she desired, but was unsure of his feelings for her. What’s more, she had no idea how the day would go. Would he come to her or would she go to him? What would they do when they got together? Most importantly, what did she really want?

Once she was feeling turned on, Margot began imagining her day. She savored the process, actually feeling the excitement of her dreams coming true. Eventually she orgasmed and went to sleep in a high vibration, feeling as if everything she imagined had actually happened.

The next day not only did her man come to her, but she received everything she fantasized about under the light of the full moon, and so much more. “It was like I had written out a script of what I wanted and he played the role beautifully. But he was kinder and more attracted to me than ever. It truly felt like magic!”

While Margot used the practice to attract a man, you can use a pleasure prayer to attract anything you want into your life and feel more vibrant and alive in the process. What is it that you truly desire? Try caressing your body, feeling that sense of turn on, and then imagining what it is you want. You might just be amazed at what happens next.